I’ve upped my game at Christmas. But not in the sense you may think. In that this year I let go entirely of the restrictive mindset. Ate whatever the hell I wanted. Faced the immediate consequences. Of sugar rushes. Of feeling far too full to be comfortable. Of having to lay sprawled out on the floor on my stomach, in front of the air conditioner to try and combat the food sweats. First round of dessert, followed by a main meal of red and green M&Ms, and finished with a second round of dessert was a thing. It might seem ridiculous to be proud of letting go, of indulging (okay, maybe over-indulging at times). But for someone who for the last three years has battled with over-monitoring their food, with eating far less than they really should have, it’s a big step. Things have been improving significantly in recent times – there’s still been stabs of guilt and/or the pangs of ignored hunger, but they’re rapidly reducing in frequency and ferocity. Continue reading